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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076634">keep on keeping on</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallblueandloud/pseuds/smallblueandloud'>smallblueandloud</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, POV Outsider, Pearl Solidarity (Steven Universe), diamonds arguing as diamonds do, repression is the coping mechanism of the day folks, that's an existing tag? god i love that SO much thanks fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:31:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallblueandloud/pseuds/smallblueandloud</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Yellow puts up a hand. “Careful,” she says. “You’re imagining scenarios. We can say these things here, among ourselves, but remember-”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“We are the Diamonds’ pearls, and we exist only to serve,” recites Pearl, her spine straightening. “We are not permitted to have opinions. We do not have opinions.”</i>
</p>
<p>(or, blue and yellow pearl took care of pink diamond's new pearl. it's a long six thousand years until they see her again.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blue Diamond's Pearl &amp; Pearl (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond's Pearl &amp; Yellow Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Pearl &amp; Yellow Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>keep on keeping on</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i've spent the past few weeks rewatching su, and i have SO MANY THOUGHTS about pearl and pearlrose and pearl's development and the trial and "welcome back". this is the result. title is from "my silver lining" from first aid kit, which i'm not sure if it fits exactly but i really didn't have any title ideas lmao. my brain loves the song because the harmonies are tight, what can i say. enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pink Diamond walks into the chamber, her new pearl trailing behind at a perfect distance of three strides.</p>
<p>Blue glances at Yellow. This should be an eventful meeting.</p>
<p>Pink Diamond’s expression can best be described as <em>petulant</em> as she looks up at her superior Diamonds. Her pearl dutifully turns and joins Blue and Yellow to stand at the wall, in polite attention.</p>
<p>If Blue were allowed to have an opinion, she would wish that she were allowed to stay behind in her Diamond’s chambers for these meetings. She loses valuable time - time that can be used to improve the empire - standing here and waiting for her Diamond to ask something of her. She doesn’t even get to speak to Yellow, or examine this new pearl.</p>
<p>But Blue Diamond’s Pearl was not created to have an opinion. Therefore she has none.</p>
<p>Pink Diamond glares up at Blue and Yellow Diamond. “I don’t like this new pearl.”</p>
<p>Yellow Diamond sighs. “She wasn’t made for you to <em>like,</em> Pink.”</p>
<p>Pink Diamond seems to restrain herself from stomping her foot, if only barely. “I want my pearl back. She was <em>much</em> more fun. This one doesn’t know how to play with me.”</p>
<p>“Pearls aren’t toys, Pink,” says Blue Diamond. “Besides, this one was made to be... sensible. She’s not here for you to play with. Remember what happened to-”</p>
<p>Yellow Diamond clears her throat. “Don’t speak about it in front of them. Pearls, wait outside.”</p>
<p>“Of course, my Diamond,” says Yellow, snapping her heels together and saluting.</p>
<p>“Of course, Yellow Diamond,” echoes Blue, curtseying. After a moment, the new Pearl follows suit. All three pearls turn and file out of the chamber, to wait outside until the Diamonds are finished with their conversation.</p>
<p>Blue doesn’t mind. Out here, she’s not expected to pay attention - and besides, she can speak to Yellow, and they can both form their opinions of Pink Diamond’s new pearl.</p>
<p>They all come to a stop in a row. Blue and Yellow have managed to get the new pearl in the middle, so they can both look at her. Blue looks up and meets Yellow’s eye. <em>Gently,</em> she wants to say, as if Yellow would listen to her.</p>
<p>“Well,” sniffs Yellow, looking the new pearl over. “You’re not very good at this job, are you?”</p>
<p>Blue doesn’t stiffen, but it’s a close call. “Yellow.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to do!” The new pearl pulls her arms together and grips her elbows. “Nothing I do will make her happy. That’s all I’m supposed to do, isn’t it? Make her happy. But I can’t.”</p>
<p>“It’s not your fault,” says Blue, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Your existence is- it’s unexpected. You haven’t been made to match with the personality of your owner. You were made to temper her. Nothing you do will make her happy.”</p>
<p>The pearl’s eyes fill with tears as she brings her hands to her face. “I’m a failure,” she wails.</p>
<p>“You’re not a failure,” says Blue. “You’re just not like a normal pearl. I suppose- White Diamond made you so you would help Pink Diamond grow into a leader, didn’t she? And White Diamond’s vision is perfect. So as long as you fulfill that purpose, I don’t see why you would be a failure.”</p>
<p>The pearl sniffs, delicate the way they were all made to be. “You think so?”</p>
<p>Blue smiles at her. She wasn’t intending to like this pearl - but all she wants is to serve her Diamond. Her single-mindedness is admirable, but unsustainable. Blue isn’t sure this one will last any longer than the other, but she finds herself wishing she does.</p>
<p>“I’m sure you’ll do well,” she says. “It’s very nice to meet you. You can call me Blue. That’s Yellow. Don’t mind her, she’s a stickler for the rules.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” says Yellow, but she smiles at Blue, barely.</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you as well,” says the pearl. “Well- I suppose you’re some of the first gems I’ve ever met. You can- should I go by Pink?”</p>
<p>Blue barely suppresses a wince. On the pearl’s other side, Yellow shakes her head.</p>
<p>Pearls don’t have personal facet numbers or designations. They’re designed to be indistinguishable apart from the customizations of their owner. Blue and Yellow have rationalized their nicknames with the thought that they need to be able to speak to each other in an efficient way. Besides, as the pearls of Diamonds, they technically hold more power than even a Sapphire, even if they don’t wield it for themselves. And they were made to be- well, blue and yellow, respectively.</p>
<p>But this new pearl has not been customized to her Diamond’s specifications. <em>White</em> Diamond designed her, with input from both of the other elder Diamonds. It feels wrong to designate her as Pink’s when Pink Diamond clearly doesn’t <em>want</em> her.</p>
<p>Besides. For Blue and Yellow, there’s already a pearl named Pink, and it isn’t this one.</p>
<p>“I don’t think so,” says Blue, as politely as she can manage. “Since you’ll only be speaking with us, maybe we could just call you Pearl?”</p>
<p>“I- I’m not sure,” says the pearl. “It’s so... vague.”</p>
<p>“It’s either that or ‘Pink’s Replacement’ until we’re all dust,” says Yellow. “I prefer the first one, to be honest, but-”</p>
<p>“No!” says the new pearl. “Pearl works.” She hesitates. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” says Blue. “We’re going to be working together quite often, especially once Pink Diamond gets a colony of her own.”</p>
<p>“Do you really think it will happen?” asks Pearl. “She wants it more than anything else.”</p>
<p>“Eventually, once you talk some sense into her,” says Yellow. “But don’t look too excited. <em>You’ll</em> have to help her with all of her work. And visit the colony, and talk sense into insolent gems, so on and so forth.”</p>
<p>Pearl wrinkles her nose. “I’ve never left Homeworld. I don’t think I <em>want</em> to.”</p>
<p>“You never know,” says Blue. “Some colonies are beautiful. You might find one you like even more than Homeworld.”</p>
<p>“Besides, it’s never about what <em>you</em> want,” says Yellow. “Remember, you are a pearl. Your job is to...?”</p>
<p>“To please my owner,” recites Pearl. She frowns. “And... make her more sensible?”</p>
<p>“You’ll get the hang of it,” says Blue.</p>
<hr/>
<p>They’ve been sent out of the chamber so the Diamonds can discuss Pink Diamond’s new colony, which the first ships will be reaching today. It will only be a few days until a galaxy warp is constructed, and then the empire will officially have acquired its first Pink colony.</p>
<p>“She’s so excited,” says Pearl, breathless with delight. “Oh, it’s so wonderful! She’s so expressive. I can’t wait to go with her to the colony itself.”</p>
<p>Yellow puts a hand on the shoulder - a rare compliment. “Good job.”</p>
<p>“You did excellently,” says Blue. “My Diamond is very pleased with you. I’m sure the others are as well.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t realize how much I was failing until she was happy,” says Pearl, grinning. “Following the rules makes everything make<em> sense.</em> Oh, I’m sure she’s going to love it. She’s going to have so much fun with the-”</p>
<p>Yellow puts up a hand. “Careful,” she says. “You’re imagining scenarios. We can say these things here, among ourselves, but remember-”</p>
<p>“We are the Diamonds’ pearls, and we exist only to serve,” recites Pearl, her spine straightening. “We are not permitted to have opinions. We do not have opinions.”</p>
<p>“Right,” says Blue, letting herself show some of her relief. It’s good that Pearl is so devoted to her Diamond - but she has to be careful. They all do. The empire only functions because every gem does exactly what is expected of her, no less and no more. Pearls, especially, must stay quiet and compliant for upper level gems to get anything done.</p>
<p>The Diamonds need them at their best most of all.</p>
<p>“I hope Pink Diamond does well with her new colony,” says Blue, attempting to change the subject. “I’m sure you both will do well.”</p>
<p>“For beginners, of course,” says Yellow. “<em>My</em> Diamond has the most colonies outside of White herself.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” agrees Blue. Yellow shows her devotion to her Diamond through constant boasting. It’s nothing to get annoyed over, not after all this time. Blue shows her devotion by pushing everything down until she is a perfect, dainty statue, who takes excellent notes and is always punctual.</p>
<p>They both do what they need to in order to survive. Both of them understand that.</p>
<p>Blue isn’t sure how Pearl shows her devotion. Hopefully she isn’t this effusive in <em>front</em> of her Diamond, but Pearl hasn’t been shattered yet, and she hasn’t met Pink’s fate either. All good things.</p>
<p>Personally, Blue would hope this Pearl sticks around. If she hoped anything.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Pearl?” asks Blue.</p>
<p>They’re standing outside the chamber so the elder Diamonds can talk Pink Diamond down from a tantrum. Blue isn’t clear on the details - it’s something about the life on her colony. She doesn’t want to know. If the Diamonds judged that she shouldn’t hear it, they of course know best.</p>
<p>Besides, Blue isn’t concerned about the tantrum itself. Pink Diamond has thrown fits about many irrelevant things before now - and she will whine about many irrelevant things after this. It seems Pearl’s calming influence can only go so far.</p>
<p>But Pearl is acting oddly. Only a few hundred years ago, she would be panicking about failing in the duty White created her for. Or failing to keep Pink Diamond happy. Or worrying that she wouldn’t be able to reassure Pink Diamond after this meeting. One notable time, it had even gone as far as “How am I supposed to make her happy if they send us out and I don’t know what made her upset?”</p>
<p>Blue and Yellow had put a stop to <em>that</em> as quickly as they could.</p>
<p>But instead of any of those things, Pearl is just... standing there. Quietly. Not saying or doing anything at all.</p>
<p>“Pearl?” Blue asks again.</p>
<p>Pearl blinks, turning to her. “What? I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” asks Yellow. “Normally you’re a lot more-” She waves her hands around Pearl’s vicinity. “You know. Talkative. Annoyingly so, of course.”</p>
<p>Pearl smiles at both of them, hesitantly. “I’m sorry. I’m just- thinking.”</p>
<p>“About the colony?”</p>
<p>“What else?” says Pearl, shaking her head. “Earth is beautiful. I wish you two could see it.”</p>
<p>Yellow shudders. “I only leave Homeworld to serve my Diamond, thank you. Besides, it’s not like we’d see much of the planet. Running a colony takes too much time for sightseeing.”</p>
<p>“Oh- of course,” says Pearl, hurriedly. “I just meant- I hope we can spare the life that’s there. There’s so much of it. It’s so <em>beautiful.</em> Blue, I think you would like it.”</p>
<p>“Pearl-” says Blue. “Please remember.”</p>
<p>“Yes, yes, I know we’re not supposed to have opinions,” says Pearl, waving a hand. “But Pink Diamond feels the same way. Doesn’t that mean anything?”</p>
<p>“Your Diamond had better not flinch in the face of a few <em>plants,</em>” says Yellow. She doesn’t scoff - no one scoffs about a Diamond, even the childish Pink Diamond - but it’s a close thing. “If she wishes to preserve the organic species of her colony, I’m sure something can be arranged.”</p>
<p>“Maybe a zoo or something similar,” suggests Blue. “They would be happy and cared for there.”</p>
<p>Pearl stares at both of them. Blue hasn’t said anything wrong according to the protocols they were all made knowing, so she’s not sure <em>what</em> Pearl is upset about. She has a bad feeling about it.</p>
<p>Just then, the doors of the chamber slide open, and Pink Diamond stalks out. Blue and Yellow immediately shift into attention. Yellow executes a salute while Blue curtseys, but Pink Diamond pays no attention to them as she walks past.</p>
<p>“Come on, Pearl,” she says absently, and Pearl peels off the wall to follow her, a perfect three strides behind. “Why can’t they <em>listen?</em> I don’t- ugh. We need to figure something else out.”</p>
<p>Blue, very consciously, stops listening.</p>
<p>A few minutes later, her Diamond directs her to begin plans for a human zoo.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“The other Diamonds want her to ignore the threat of this rebel Rose Quartz!” says Pearl, throwing up her hands. They’re standing in their familiar spot in the corridor, carefully not listening to the debate raging inside the chamber. “They don’t want to <em>do</em> anything, they don’t want to <em>hear her out</em>? How are we supposed to run a colony with such interference?”</p>
<p>Blue and Yellow exchange glances. Something about Earth has changed both Pearl and her relationship to Pink Diamond. Neither of them are quite sure why or how, but at some point Pearl began to include herself in “we”. Now that it’s started, neither of them are sure how to stop it.</p>
<p>And now Pearl is questioning the judgement of the other Diamonds.</p>
<p>“Pearl,” says Blue, very carefully. “I don’t know what advice to give you about this Rose Quartz, because I’ve never dealt with a rebellion before. But I’m sure my Diamond has Pink Diamond’s best interests in mind. Don’t you think the older Diamonds know what’s best? They’ve been doing this for so much longer than Pink Diamond, and they’re so much wiser than us pearls.”</p>
<p>Pearl turns to look at her. “You don’t actually <em>believe</em> that, do you?”</p>
<p>Blue freezes.</p>
<p>Yellow’s voice is very low. “Pearl, stop it. You know how Blue does this - you know how all of us do this.” She takes a deep breath and puts her hand on Pearl’s arm.</p>
<p>“I’m not going to tell you how to deal with this rebellion. It... seems Pink Diamond has her own ideas on how to run her own colony. She is a Diamond. She is allowed to make her own decisions. You’re her pearl. Your job is to follow her and make sure she doesn’t do anything rash.”</p>
<p>“<em>And</em> make her happy,” argues Pearl. “Right? Isn’t that there too?”</p>
<p>Yellow frowns. Blue, deep in her gem, feels something like uneasiness.</p>
<p>“Yes,” says Yellow, eventually. “And make her happy. But you- please, Pearl, you may know what you’re doing, but you can’t bring us into this. You know that anything we hear-”</p>
<p>“Pearl, you’re one of us,” says Blue, glancing at Yellow. “We trust your judgement, even if it’s- if it’s not traditional. But if you want our support, you can’t- we can’t know what you’re doing. Nothing we know is safe. Pearl, none of us can disregard a direct order. Do you understand?”</p>
<p>Pearl looks at them for a long moment. Finally, she glances to the side, pulling her arms up and putting her hands on her elbows. “Yes,” she says, and laughs once. “Yes, I understand.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The force of Blue Diamond’s grief prompts Yellow Diamond to send the pearls out of the room.</p>
<p>“What do you-” starts Blue, once they’re standing outside.</p>
<p>Yellow puts up a hand. “You know we can’t say it,” she says. “We can’t even <em>think</em> it.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” says Blue. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>They stand there in silence for long minutes. Finally, Blue says, “I still hope she makes it out before the planet is razed.”</p>
<p>Yellow laughs, a wet sound. “Me too.”</p>
<p><em>She must be devastated,</em> thinks Blue. She lets herself linger on it for a moment - on Pearl’s grief and rage and pain, what she must be feeling right now, the guilt she must feel for not being able to stop the shattering - and then puts the subject out of her mind indefinitely.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The years pass slowly, and yet too quickly to keep track of.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Blue finds herself thinking of Pearl even when she’s actively trying not to.</p>
<p>Pearl was only with them for a short while, but something about her was <em>different.</em> And maybe it was her devotion to Pink Diamond, passionate in a way that Blue and Yellow could never imagine, but more likely it was how she’d changed in the last thousand years before Pink Diamond’s-</p>
<p>For all of the pain it causes her, Blue hopes Pearl tried to get in the way. She hopes Pearl didn’t live to see it. Not just because it would have killed Pearl to see it, as it would have killed any pearl to watch her owner be shattered.</p>
<p>Moreso because Blue doesn’t want to think about a world where Pearl had the chance to get in the way... and didn’t.</p>
<hr/>
<p>She never stops thinking about how desperately Pearl seemed to want the Diamonds to abandon the colony.</p>
<p>It’s a long six thousand years.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“So how did a <em>Rose Quartz</em>, with no business being anywhere <em>near</em> Pink Diamond, get so close in the first place?” asks the Zircon in charge of defense, as the small, human-looking Rose Quartz on the stand watches in horror.</p>
<p>Blue glances over at Yellow.</p>
<p>“Where were Pink Diamond's attendants? Her Agates, her Sapphires?”</p>
<p>Blue looks up at her Diamond, who will undoubtedly cut this trial short. If only she’d do it before-</p>
<p>“And where was her <em>pearl</em>?”</p>
<p>For the first time in ten thousand years of service, Blue shows an incorrect emotion in front of her Diamond.</p>
<p>She gasps.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Her Diamond and Yellow Diamond return from Earth with the human Rose Quartz. Blue Diamond explains, as Blue helps her into the extraction bath, that Pink Diamond is alive. That Rose Quartz <em>was</em> Pink Diamond.</p>
<p>Blue allows herself a quiet smile. “I am overjoyed she is alive, my Diamond.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I am too, pearl. But Pink has a new name, and I want everyone in my court to use it for him,” says her Diamond. “His name is Steven. Isn’t that a cute name?”</p>
<p>“Of course, my Diamond,” says Blue.</p>
<p>“Go and tell him I want to speak to him,” says her Diamond.</p>
<p>“Yes, my Diamond.”</p>
<p>She makes her way to the Pink wing, wondering quietly. If Pink Diamond became Rose Quartz- and somehow <em>survived</em> the devastation of the Diamonds’ grief- does that mean other gems survived?</p>
<p>She doesn’t let herself hope. All this means is that Pearl didn’t shatter her Diamond over a handful of organics, which will be more than enough for Blue’s grief. This is enough.</p>
<p>Only a handful of Crystal Gems survived the razing. Blue can’t let herself hope.</p>
<p>The door to Pink Diamond’s chambers slide open and standing there is-</p>
<p>Pearl.</p>
<p>Blue leads her and Steven to the extraction chamber. She doesn’t dare say anything in front of him. It doesn’t matter if he really is half human - he’s still a Diamond, and that matters.</p>
<p>Still.</p>
<p>He walks into the extraction chamber, leaving Blue and Pearl standing at the door.</p>
<p>“Welcome back,” she says, quietly.</p>
<p>Pearl smiles without turning to her. “Nice to see you too, Blue.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>look, i understand that pearl was undoubtedly enamored with pink diamond from the beginning, but it grew into a healthy respect and love as she got to know rose quartz. also, like? pearl had a personality before she fell in love with rose? we KNOW this?? anyway, this fic was my way of trying to talk about pearl's development and also solidarity and also blue pearl, because it turns out i have Thoughts.</p>
<p>PLEASE come talk to me about steven universe <a href="https://smallblueandloud.tumblr.com">on tumblr</a>! i have been obsessed with this show since i first watched it and i will always love it. i hope you enjoyed this fic and that you're staying safe.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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